So this month's going by pretty fast...as I'm sure will the remaining 11.1..and before you know it we are making new year plans, getting drunk, getting hangovers, resolving NEVER to drink so much again...making new year resolutions, breaking new year resolutions, scoffing at people who make new year resolutions..and wondering at how Jan 2012 is almost over...
We do this every year don't we? Wondering over lost moments, trying to grasp where the time went...almost as if time had sworn that this year, at least, it would give us ample warning before disappearing into a haze of memories.
The year that went...for me...was strange. In a way no different from the others. Ups and downs, friends and enemies, wishes granted and dreams dashed. Yet in other ways...I think that the day my life ends...I will still be able to put 2010 amongst the top 5 years in which my world changed...one wish, one act, one decision at a time...
January was strange..I was rudderless, in a flux, trying to grasp upheavals that my personal life was going through. Feb went in trying to make sense of new dimensions, new definitions, new perspectives that life was thrusting upon me.
March - well was when I acted on those perceptions, thus simultaneously ignoring my sense of self as well as giving it a new identity..
April - an attempt to conform to what life expected of me, what society demanded of me, what I knew to be right.
May was when all my attempts shattered, all my notions made a laughing stock of. When all that I had built up, all that made up own worth, to me, was swept away in the matter of a mere scornful minutes.
June, July, August - trying to make sense - of me, of life, of my surrounding, of what had been, what could have been, what must be.
September - that much awaited Europe trip..the Eiffel Tower by night, a musical at London West End, crepes in Paris, Gondola ride in Venice, the Sistine chapel in Rome, wondering what's so cool about milan, trying to maintain my balance as I climbed up the leaning tower of Pisa...kinda like my life.
October - Turn that dreaded corner in life...officially old! Wanted to visit a strip club to commemorate the ocassion..but sadly my way of life n vices lack company
November - Surprise surprise! A random contest entered at a random moment of time wins me an all expenses paid trip to Toronto. Well, I was certainly going places this year! Even if my life wasn't...
December - Some old friends, some new, a relatively tame new years party, no hangover, except that of some memories...didnt do all the things I wanted to...just went along with the flow...because swimming against it for so long has taken away so much of my strength. I need whatever's remaining to hold on to my sanity...
That's this years resolution...being normal...too much to ask?
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