Monday, February 25, 2013

We're Just Friends



This website caught my eye...and my fancy... - http://dailydishonesty.com/

The most honest portrayal of dishonesty I've seen in a while. Almost makes our little white lies seem like something fun.

Here's my list:

Nothing's wrong/I'm fine
Sorry I just saw your message
I'm going on a diet from tomorrow
I've cut down on drinking
It doesn't matter to me
I'm not scared of being alone
You look great
I'll clean my cupboard this weekend
I want to go bungee jumping
I have no regrets
I love you

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Now Hiring

Job title: Alcohol-Induced-Stupidity-Controller

Qualifications: At least 25 years spent as a teetotaller, or at the very least someone who can control his drink. Failing all of this has superhuman self-control which he/she can then use to bodily carry me away from potential disaster.

Responsibilities:
  1. Don't let me drink
  2. If you let me drink, don't leave me alone with people
  3. If you leave me alone, drug me first so that I don't remain conscious long enough to TALK
 Compensation: My undying gratitude?


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

It takes two to tango


I'd like to dance to this someday
A dark stage - a single spotlight
Maybe a mixture of jazz, modern ballet and the tango

And someone who can keep up to my pace.