Monday, April 9, 2012

To be or not to be...

I seem to have led half a life...all my life.

So many things that I wanted to do. So many things I will never accomplish. Does that make me pathetic - someone incapable of going after what she wants? Or does that make me passive - someone disinterested in going after things?

I keep hearing about how lucky I am. Did well in studies, got a great job, settled down - everything by the book. Apparently that's ideal and rare. But is that true for all of us? Even for those who don't want to do things by the book but would rather write their own stories? Currently my story seems predictable. And I am just waiting for that twist that turns the story from 'oh ok' to 'oh wow!'

I don't want a job - I want an occupation that is driven by my passion
I don't want to be in love - I want to be driven to distraction by my feelings
I don't want to have an average life - I want to go crazy, experience every single exhilarating thing

I wanted to travel the world, write a book, be a voice-over artist, a travel show host, bake the perfect cake, sing on a stage, be a professional dancer, play the piano, live in Bombay, go bungee-jumping, get the perfect proposal.

Some of this I hope to still do. For some, I have to wait for another lifetime. A thought that makes me incredibly sad.

For what did Calvin say - "Happiness isn't good enough for me. I demand euphoria!"