Date A Girl Who Doesn't Read

Books will not be the only companion she needs on most days. She will have plenty of time to pander to your need for attention. And to the inflated position you give yourself in her life. She won't get lost between the pages - or travel to other worlds in her mind.

She will not demand textbook happy-endings. She will know life for what it is - and quietly accept it's ground realities. She will not romanticize memories or goodbyes. She will not even look back to see if you are looking back. You will be free.

She will not read between the lines. Or expect you to. That will save so much of miscommunication - and cut down on random musings, 'what-if' conversations, unrealistic ideals.

She will not expect you to read between the lines either. She will tell you like it is. So you know exactly what she wants, what she needs. No more surprises - or the stress of having to keep the mystery of your relationship alive.

Vocabularies will be limited - so you won't need to watch what you say, or how you say it.

She won't hold physical intimacy up as more than it's meant to be. You won't need to look into her eyes and whisper sweet nothings during sex. She won't sit and sulk if you don't hold her afterwards. Sex will be sex. Nothing more. Perhaps a little less.

You won't need to know who Murakami is. What Richard Bach says about love. What Camus says about life. Which Wodehouse book is her favourite. Or which Ayn Rand character fills her with awe.

You won't need to console her when her favourite character dies. Or put up with her restlessness as she waits for the next book in the series she is currently immersed in.

She will not believe in magic. In impossible dreams coming true. She will be comfortable within the limits life sets for her. She won't expect you to drop everything and go on a treasure hunt. Even if that hunt starts from your couch with a hot cup of coffee. She will be content to just change the TV channel.

She will not look for the hero in you. You don't need to measure up. Her expectations are limited to who you are. Not who she thinks you can be. With her, you won't need to strive to be a better man. You can just be normal, everyday, ordinary, average.

Don't date a girl who reads.

She will demand passion. She will expect euphoria.
She will make you restless. She will make you illogical.

She will make you want more. Always. And that might make you uncomfortable.

The inspiration for this one.